The Lord is taking me to a higher level of purity and holiness in Him. He has been excavating roots and generational issues. He is the true vine, and I am a branch being pruned.
For anyone who has ever wanted to quit:
As God began to pull and tug at these roots, it hurt so bad that I made a decision to resign from ministry. I told the Lord that I did not want to be His prophet, and put my resignations in writing so that I could seal the deal. I didn’t lie, and claim that God led me to quit ministry, and I wasn’t bluffing. I knew that I was making an important decision based on my emotions. I was honest in my rebellion. I was tired and I just wanted to give up. What was the point, anyway? I would never be worthy. I would never be good enough to represent the holiness of God to the fullest. I just wanted to run and hide.
That lasted about 24 hours. That’s when the Lord said to me, “Are you through?” My resignations were promptly rejected by the leaders that God has appointed to shepherd me. They reminded me that I did not choose God or ministry. He chose me. You see, I was feeling weak, insecure and unqualified to go where God is taking me. Sound like anyone you know??? The Apostle Paul said, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” [2 Corinthians 12:9] Hmmm. If the Apostle Paul felt weak due to the thorn in his side [that thing that he could not overcome on his own], and he was a strong man of God, then I might not be a lost cause after all. In fact, Paul continued by saying, …”Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me..” Of course, I had to be reminded of this because when you’re in rebellion, it makes you kind of blind and stupid. My leaders reminded me that the only perfect man is Jesus and God uses who he chooses. They encouraged me through scripture that I was exactly where God wanted me to be, [Jeremiah 1:6; Nehemiah 1:6; Exodus 3:11; Exodus 4:1; etc.] . They covered me in prayer, love and understanding. I repented for my disobedience, and cried out to God through Psalm 139.
“…thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things..” [Mathew25:21]
Of course, God used me even more to tend to the needy, minister to the sick, and even called me to teach outside of the church. Then, (within 2 weeks time) through submission and obedience, I was elevated in ministry (appointed a leadership/teaching position in the church). This was definitely not something that I was seeking. Typically, I do not volunteer to take responsibility, but it was inevitable. I never chose leadership; it always chose me.
The Importance of our Testimony
Suddenly, it became very clear to me why this attack had been so intense. The Lord had ministered to me through my own hand only days before, knowing that I would experience what He was teaching me.
The outward response of my disobedience.
Recently, I have been experiencing heart palpitations, and leg pain to the point of having to lean on a cane. Yes, I know that this is an attack of the enemy, but I refuse to give him too much credit or control over my body or my mind. The Lord told me that the pain I am experiencing in my body is a result of the roots that are being pulled up. Yes, that’s right. Roots of unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, and anger. Issues that have been “pruned”, but not “uprooted”. If you do any gardening, yard work or landscaping, then you know that pruning is maintenance and beautifying. That’s what is seen from the outside. Now, the roots are a different story. They go deep underground, and some are almost impossible to pull out completely. I have two tree roots in my backyard right now that I’ve been working on for over a year. I have successfully killed them, but they are still sticking up out of the ground making it impossible for me to plant something else in their place. Some of us have been pruned and cut down trees and killed weeds in our life, but the root is still sticking up out of the ground and we continue to stumble over it from time to time or we have to walk around it, but it is still taking up space in our garden. Space that we could use to plant something new. Truth be told, I’m having heart palpitations because there is sin there that hasn’t been uprooted, and my leg is hurting because I was trying to run away from God. Hah! The truth hurts, but the truth will set you free. The good news is that whoever the Son sets free is free indeed. Thank you, Jesus.
When we accept Christ, he prunes us and helps us to change our ways, our habits, and the way we see the world as a result of our new relationship with Him. However, as we grow in Christ, and He chooses us for specific assignments, He digs deep into our soul to excavate and exterminate roots, weeds, and other debris in order to fill us with His Holy Spririt that will lead and guide us into all understanding. It can be a very uncomfortable process, but the result is complete deliverance and healing. When we allow God to have His perfect work in us, we are “made whole.” [Luke 17:12-19].
I sent this testimony to encourage you to allow God to make you whole today. God bless you.
But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. 1 Peter 5:10
© 2008 Arletia McInnis, The Prophetic Scribe